The Soul at Its Darkest

An Ocean Caught in Hurricane – Departure

Stop turning your gaze toward others’ suffering! Look at your life! That’s pain, and it doesn’t smile! The time has come to suffer without detour, Outhis! You’re going to take a beating! The plunge into troubled waters will shatter your heart.

The Declaration of Non-Love – A Trick Gone Wrong

Listen, hear these words, listen to my words, hear my love! Your eyes sparkle through the waves of the sea, your voice takes flight of the seagulls’ joy, your words stir a shiver in the depths, your hands breathe life into the horizon of our passion. And together we will go into the bed of my illusions, to find an ambush there. I stab myself deeply in it. This love does not exist! Let this dream die, this mud of belched words!

Get Drunk on Winds and Tides – The Flower of Oblivion

Declarations of love, intoxications of unshared feelings, sincere sentiments: these illusions bandage the wounds of emptiness. We must tear off these bandages that heal nothing. Cast off the lies! I’m setting out on the swell, I’m steering my vessel to learn to live on pain and despair. Moments of emotion shake men! Some through joy, others through torment!

A Final Wave of Alarm – A Cry in the Void?

Loving you in my secret has been a formidable adventure. I was intoxicated by the thrill. And the withdrawal is radical, violent, and frightening. I beat my heart to make it stop beating for you. Yet I will tie a small knot in it, to keep a memory of you. A hollow place so that everything isn’t black. Not as black as this impulse to keep your memory as an alert howling forever: abstain from love! Ulysses, the one-eyed giant whom you blinded, cries your name to the ocean. Ridiculous monster bellowing a name that isn’t one: nobody! I too call nobody! There is nobody. Today, I don’t even have love left.

Love Exists and Breaks – Against the Winds!

I have seen them! I have been moved by faces and gazes. But never had this feeling soaked in implacable truth carried me away like a sailboat on luminous waves. And again, this crossing knows no return, without even a stopover for respite. And this odyssey carried by the vigor of the winds ends in a pitiful shipwreck. Not to be loved! I never want to relive this horror again. Ulysses, you returned alone, stripped of your sailors and your possessions. Did love give you the strength? What must I do, who lacks this spring?

Skimming the Forbidden of Love – Trapped in Multiple Pincers

Those eyes that look at me are missing, that hand that caresses me is missing, that body seeking mine is missing, those gestures moved by you, my vain love. Those gestures, I will never know them. I collapse under the violence of this void. Love is not made for two. I almost forgot. I was wrong! The force of my feelings led me astray: the love of one person. A contrary force bares its fangs. Nothingness erodes my being. What to do with my grotesque feelings that you could not expect?

Pitiful Turbulences of the Soul – Degenerate Metamorphosis

A little existential crisis, Outhis? It changes your life, doesn’t it! Feel how it tortures your soul and heart. Your body cracks, yields to the squalls, signals what your voice tries to silence: a body in suffering is a broken soul. When the world around suffers, I drown in bourgeois torments. Splattered by our society of the self alone, while elsewhere they don’t have this idleness. Perhaps I’m mutating thus into the degeneracy of our humanity.

On the High Seas of My Death – The Descent to the Bottom

A journey to hell! Ulysses, did you know obstacles? How much suffering did you endure! But did you want to return home or were you seeking something else that you didn’t find? And was your crossing as horrible as mine? Life has no more taste. When death comes to stiffen my body, will I let myself be lulled by paralysis, without resistance, without fear, even if pain pushes me to scream? I let my body take care of my death.

And the Crumbs for the Seagulls – The Sirens’ Cries

Ulysses tied to the mast of a boat drunk on deceptive voices, what do you have to say that no one hears? Love remains a false reality. Joy and happiness to those who will nevertheless deny this truth! Could love be a lottery that gives luck to some and no prospect to so many others? Half-passions, half-loves, half-happinesses, how many of us must accept this fate? These lies about ourselves and about life?

Groundswell – Between Two Monsters

Why did this woman on the horizons of your return have to wait for you? Why does everyone look at you while ignoring her, Ulysses, in the shadow of your splendor? I wallow in my wounds, but what have I grasped and respected in you? You whom I wanted to touch, even as I fall? Have I not seen beyond my torments your encumbered feelings? Would I leave them to the silence of a horizon of no return?

A Tragedy to Die Laughing – The Taste of Death

Beauty only has meaning if there is emotion. Ah, sublime evidence that imposes itself before imploding in the impossible! Thank you, irony of fate! Must one aspire to torture to taste beauty? And emotion, bearer of evidence, another traitor! Doesn’t it instigate a hallucinatory poison to produce despair, to drown in despair, to scuttle an entire life in despair? Why does this body vibrate? Could it not refrain from swaying with feelings? I must distract myself from a self that is nothing more than an open wound.

The Echo of Return to Port – A Nymph Not to Forget

Ulysses, what words did you use to make sorceresses love you? Isn’t it a balm on pain to be able to express what one loves, for lack of better? You don’t answer, Ulysses! I must go alone. One last time, I return to her, to you, I want to dream of telling you my love! But I have lost faith. Did you have to endure my speaking to you? What gesture should I give you today so that you can cleanse from your life the damage of a storm in which I shipwreck, for we suffer only in solitude? But could I have misunderstood the emotions that affect you?

Embark to Leave You? – A Raft on Life

I would like respite! Don’t I deserve like Ulysses a vessel that brings me back to a place where pressure and depression would rest the soul in peace? Ulysses, what future did you leave to the women you multiplied through your tale of warrior, cunning and obstinate man? Should I make this gesture of tenderness to open the road for the one I disturbed with an obtuse gesture? You whom I hide behind these words, would I have the strength to leave you in my oblivion to your life? I aspire to set out on the sea that would have seen Ulysses in order to face the final ordeal of catching my breath before giving it up forever!

The Sea of Troubled Waters and Life – Return of Despair

To love without reciprocation is an atrocious death of the soul. Do men foment wars out of romantic spite? Why did anger rumble within me in order to hurt myself? Was this crossing a trial to discover a life kept silent? To discover paths of love to explore under your gaze?

Ulysses, you came home and you destroyed everything, you killed! Was that the price of your return?

And what if the return was a mistake born of fear or doubt? And what if the return was about finding an unexpected life of joy with the hope of carrying our souls into an encounter of tenderness?

Hohoo, life is burning, hohoo, the soul is crashing.